MLB's torpedo bat sensation is the only hope for the Mariners offense

If it feels like everyone in the wide world of Major League Baseball can't stop talking about "torpedo bats," it's because that isn't far from truth. And now, the Seattle Mariners have joined the chat.

As Adam Jude of the Seattle Times reported on Monday, the Mariners are "in the process of ordering a handful of the torpedo bats." He further reports that stars like Julio Rodríguez, Cal Raleigh and Jorge Polanco are interested in giving them a try, and manager Dan Wilson nailed it in calling the out-of-nowhere trend an "interesting phenomenon."

In case anyone is totally lost, we're talking about the funky-shaped bats that became a viral sensation on Saturday, when New York Yankees broadcaster Michael Kay called attention to the shape of the bat being used by Jazz Chisholm Jr. The fat part of the bat is closer to where the label normally is, which is where some hitters tend to make most of their contact.

This may have gone unnoticed if the Yankees didn't do extraordinary things like, say, hitting nine home runs on Saturday and a record-tying 15 through their first three games. But they indeed did both those things, and MLB was quick to confirm that their ostensibly magic bats are, in fact, legal.

Seemingly everyone wants in on torpedo bats now, and the list of early adopters is A) only growing and B) only getting more attention. Cincinnati Reds shortstop Elly De La Cruz used one for the first time on Monday, reporting that it felt "really good." That scans, as he went 4-for-5 with seven RBI and a pair of home runs that traveled 854 total feet.

Earth to the Mariners: Torpedo Bats (Probably) Work

It is worth stressing that the evidence in favor of torpedo bats is mostly anecdotal.

The Yankees and De La Cruz make for compelling case studies, but there are other factors at play in their early success. To wit, what if these are just good hitters having good games that they might have had regardless of the lumber?

Yet even if this is a fair question, the statistical evidence we do have is encouraging. We know of five Yankees hitters (h/t Bryan Hoch of MLB.com) who are using the torpedo bat, and all five are showing improved bat speed. Four of the five have lower whiff rates and higher exit velocity.

All of this makes that much more sense when placed in context of what Cody Bellinger told Hoch about how it feels to swing a torpedo bat: “The benefit for me is, I like the weight distribution. Personally, the weight is closer to my hands, so I feel as if it’s lighter in a way. For me, that was the biggest benefit. Obviously, the bigger the sweet spot, the bigger the margin for error."

How Torpedo Bats Might Help the Mariners

There's at least one good reason for the Mariners to be interested in torpedo bats: They really don't have anything to lose by giving them a try.

As we all know, offense has historically been a problem for the Mariners. In 48 seasons before this one, they ranked 10th or lower in the American League for runs per game 30 times. This includes five of the last seven seasons. And in the exceptions, they only ranked eighth in scoring in 2022 and seventh in scoring in 2023.

The Mariners are to be credited with the change in approach that began under Edgar Martínez in 2024 and is meant to continue under hitting coach Kevin Seitzer in 2025. But this approach is being applied to largely the same offensive core as the Mariners had last season, for which they notably led MLB in strikeouts.

Unless owner John Stanton is going to commit to spending more on star hitters from outside the organization — as former Mariner Justin Turner rightfully believes should be the case — the situation pretty much is what it is. But if the Mariners must stick with the same troops, they can at least equip them with new and improved weaponry.

Torpedo bats are a bit on the nose in this regard, but it seems like they can only help. The Mariners could further hope that they could even be effective at T-Mobile Park, which lives up to its infamy. Per Statcast, it is easily the least hitter-friendly park in the majors.

In other words, the torpedo bats the Mariners ordered can't arrive in Seattle soon enough. Even if they prove to be nothing more than wooden snake oil, the franchise owes it to the fans to at least act like it's trying to solve a longstanding problem.