Mariners hilariously think other teams will trade for their worst player

The Seattle Mariners made one thing clear heading into the trade deadline: they plan to be aggressive. That intent was backed up by the acquisition of first baseman Josh Naylor from the Arizona Diamondbacks, a solid move to shore up their offense.

But they haven't been shy in saying they’re not done. More bats? Sure. Bullpen help? Absolutely. But there’s one strategy that has people scratching their heads: shopping Dylan Moore.

Every trade deadline brings speculation about who’s coming in, but rarely do we stop to consider who’s on their way out. In the Mariners’ case, it’s looking more and more like Moore could be the odd man out if more reinforcements arrive. And honestly, that might be the best thing for both sides.

Mariners shopping Dylan Moore in midst of historic slump

The real kicker? Seattle is reportedly trying to trade him. Not quietly. Not behind closed doors. Which begs the question: Who exactly do they think is buying?

No disrespect to Moore’s career as a defensive Swiss army knife, as he did win the AL Utility Gold Glove last year — but even Ken Rosenthal of The Athletic couldn’t polish this one up. In a recent update, he delivered the news with all the enthusiasm of someone trying to return a broken lawnmower to the store without a receipt:

"The Seattle Mariners have made infielder/outfielder Dylan Moore available, according to sources briefed on the team’s discussions. Rival clubs, though, probably aren’t as excited by that news as they might have been a year ago.

Moore, the American League Utility Gold Glove Award winner last season, offers the kind of defensive versatility teams covet. There’s just one problem: Moore, who turns 33 on Aug. 2, is in a 2-for-54 slump since May 27, with 29 strikeouts and four walks."

Ken Rosenthal in The Athletic

A slump? More like a cry for help.

If Seattle gets anything more than a box of sunflower seeds and a handshake in return, it should be considered executive wizardry. Maybe a contender will squint hard enough to see past the batting line and fall in love with the glove. Maybe someone needs a veteran bench presence who used to hit lefties. Maybe… but probably not.

Realistically, this feels more like a courtesy call to the rest of the league. “Hey, we’re about to DFA this guy and we’d love for him to stay employed. You want first dibs?” The Mariners aren’t fooling anyone here. And if they somehow turn Moore into anything resembling value, it might be more impressive than trading for Naylor in the first place.

Until then, let’s all salute Seattle’s optimism. It takes a special kind of confidence to believe someone will trade for a 33-year-old utilityman batting .036 over the last two months.