If They Were Beer – Starting Pitchers


Today we complete our look at the players that have been on the M’s roster as if they were beer. Today we have a look at the Mariner’s starting Rotaion.

Remember: I’m also not going to explain my metaphors. You can all figure them out. Just know that while I’m talking in beer terms, I am still mostly talking about the players. Also, don’t be surprised if my metaphors change from player to player, or beer to beer.

Other Entries in the Series:

OutfieldersInfieldersCatchers and Designated HittersRelief Pitchers

Felix HernandezParrot in a Palm Tree Porter, Karl Strauss Brewing, San Diego, CA

A one time release for the Holidays in 2010, this beer is likely never to be made again. Truly an excellent beer, and I’ve tried nothing that is its equal. Very dark porter that is silky smooth, with a definite oaky undertone to go with the inherent dryness of a good porter. Might be the best wood-aged beer you’ll ever find.

Michael PinedaWorld Wide Stout, DogFish Head Craft Brewery, Milton Delaware

Brewed with a ridiculous amount of barely, this beer has a full complex flavor that other beer makers simply cannot come close to. You almost don’t notice the hopy bitterness on the front end, and the back end of the flavor is almost sweet.

Jason Vargas – Vanilla Bourbon Stout (no link available), Coeur d’Alene Brewing Company, Coeur d’Alene, ID

A unique stout beer brewed along with with whole vanilla beans, and then aged in old used bourbon barrels. Very smooth upfront vanilla tastes contrasts nicely with the charcoal at the end that comes from the barrels. Those 2 flavors mask a fairly average beer underneath, but the combination simply works. If there was ever such thing as a dessert beer, this would be it. Definitely not for everyone.

Charlie FurbushMike’s Hard Lemonade,  Mike’s Hard Lemonade Co., Seattle, WA

Not really a beer in any sense of the definition, but somehow gets included in some of the beer competitions around the country. Weak alcohol content, but definitely drinkable in large quantities. Prpbably should be included in the flavored beer section.

Erik Bedard2 Below, New Belgium Brewing, Fort Collins, CO

This “winter warmer” is as good as they get. Nice color, solid depth distinct hopy bitterness from the dry hoping during fermentation generate a solid balance. This beer really shines on cold winter days, but it’s limited brewing schedule means it simple can’t be found anywhere by mid summer.

Doug FisterLive Wire, Pyramid Brewing Co., Seattle, WA

This beer really shouldn’t be all that good. Too much wheat, too much hop bitterness, rather inconsistent alcohol content. Surprisingly though, all of the mistakes of this beer come together to form a rather satisfying combination, especially when served with stronger tasting foods that can stand up to this very strong tasting beer.

Blake Beaven – Haywire Hefeweizen, Pyramid Brewing Co., Seattle, WA

This is the little brother of Pyramid’s Live Wire Hef. It’s essentially the same, only lesser in every sense. less wheat, less bitterness, less alcohol. The balance is still there, and the the lack of overpowering flavors makes this actually a more versatile version.

It’s been a fun series to work on. I hope you all enjoyed it.