If They Were Beer – DH and Catchers


Today we continue our look at the players that have been on the M’s roster as if they were beer. This time we examine the catchers and designated hitters.

Remember: I’m also not going to explain my metaphors. You can all figure them out. Just know that while I’m talking in beer terms, I am still mostly talking about the players. Also, don’t be surprised if my metaphors change from player to player, or beer to beer.



Relief Pitchers: Thursday

Starting Pitchers: Friday

Catchers and Designated Hitters:

Miguel Olivo – Drop Top Amber, Widmer Brothers Brewing – Portland OR

Not a particularly good beer, but it does few things well. Fairly smooth, but offers little flavor for a beer of its color and hop content. Generally likely more than it should be.

Josh Bard – Alaskan Amber, Alaskan Brewing Company – Juneau, AK

An extremely average beer that doesn’t do anything particularly well, but also doesn’t do anything all that poorly. It used to be better, but the quality has gone down hill as they’ve expanded distribution. A good beer to start with if you’re transitioning from Macro brews to craft brews.

Mike Carp – Harp, Guinness Inc. – Dublin, Ireland

A lighter and fairly unknown compliment to their classic stout. Harp has a very good taste, but is a little rough around the edges. This beer seems to always be being considered to stop production, but it then it always comes though with reasonable sales figures and continues to survive, and now is finally catching on.

Wily Mo Pena – Arrogant Bastard, Stone Brewing Co. – San Diego, CA

This is a decent beer that does nothing in a small way. Very high alcohol percent, very strong flavors. There is nothing subtle about this beer that is definitely not for everyone.

Jack Cust – Red Hook ESB, Red Hook Brewing – Woodenville, WA

This isn’t a bad beer, but it also isn’t great. It’s fairly cheep, and does a lot of things well, but overall isn’t anything special. Most beer drinkers go through a brief Red Hook phase. It’s a common transition point from Bud Light to beers with actual flavor.

Chris Gimenez – Sam Adams Boston Lager, Boston Brewing Co. – Boston, MA

Not particularly good for a craft brew, and often thought of as just another poor macrobrew. Still, it’s not as bad as some people say, and it can work in a pinch if you’re off to a party and can’t find anything better.

More to come tomorrow