5 deals Seattle Mariners fans wish were April Fool’s Jokes

Today is the national day where people who think they are funny trying to prank the world. While most of that humor is a waste of time, it did get us thinking: what moves have the Mariners made that we wish was a bad joke?

We spent much of the last two weeks looking at some of the best trades in the history of the Seattle Mariners. Well, on this our countries excuse for a bad practical joke, we are going the other direction and will highlight 5 of the most regrettable decisions in franchise history.

While we will rank these moves 1-5, the rank themselves don’t carry much meaning. These are just 5 bad moves and there are obviously hundreds to choose from. We won’t even be able to scratch the surface on the entirety of bad decisions made in franchise history.

You may well notice there is definitely a slant towards fairly recent moves. Obviously, the early years of the Mariners was filled with plenty of poor choices, but we want to focus on the playoff drought years, which will still give us plenty to work with. So no, you won’t see the Jason Varitek and Derek Lowe for Heathcliff Slocomb trade on this list (though you’ll probably see an entire article about that deal soon).

Keep in mind, we are going to be talking about signings and trades that actually went down, not deals that the Mariners walked away from. They actually need to have happened for us to judge them.

We also won’t be doing the math on how bad each deal was. So while we could statistically look at which deals cost the Mariners the most value, but we aren’t trying to nail the exact order, just highlight some of the worst deals that have gone down in recent memory. With all that in mind, let’s get started.

5. Mariners trade Chris Taylor for Zach Lee

Jerry Dipoto‘s worst move as Seattle Mariners GM finds its way onto our list, and for good reason. Thankfully, this was a rare miss for Dipoto and is the only entry on our list, but man, was it a doozy or what?

When Dipoto traded away Taylor on June 19th of 2016, the deal was a bit of a headscratcher. Taylor was one of the best prospects in a bad system and had actually gotten some 250 PAs at the big league level. He was athletic and versatile and was just 25-years-old. This is the type of player Dipoto typically tries to acquire, not trade away.

But almost immediately after leaving Seattle, Taylor blossomed into one of the finest utility players in the league. Over the past 3 seasons, Taylor has slashed .268/.340/.468 with 98 doubles, 17 triples, and 50 home runs. This, in addition to his average or better defense at 5 positions, has helped Taylor produce a 10.1 bWAR in 3+ seasons in Los Angeles.

Meanwhile, Zach Lee never pitched for the Mariners and hasn’t appeared in a major league game since 2017. Lee was fighting for a spot in the Oakland A’s bullpen this spring but was on the outside looking in.

In Dipoto’s defense, nobody thought Taylor would evolve into the player he did. But at the end of the day, the Mariners couldn’t reach Taylor like the Dodgers could and Seattle gave up a potential everyday shortstop for AAA filler who was with the organization for 3 months. And to his credit, Dipoto wears this trade as one of the worst he’s ever made.

4. Mariners sign Carlos Silva to a 4-year, $48 million deal

Man, do you guys remember how bad Carlos Silva was? Today, a $12 million AAV bust is annoying, but not debilitating. But 10-years ago for a cheap Mariners ownership group, it was a lead balloon they refused to cut loose.

From 2004-2007, Silva was a reliable, albeit unimpressive, innings eating, strike-throwing, number 4 starter. With the Twins, Silva would make 124 starts and post a 4.42 ERA, a 4.61 FIP, a 102 ERA+ and a total of 9 bWAR. Nothing great, but pretty solid.

When the Mariners shelled out $48 million, they expected more of the same. Instead, what they got was one of the worst pitchers in the American League. In his 2 seasons with the Mariners, Silva posted a 6.81 ERA, a 4.86 FIP, a 62 ERA+ (100 is average), and actually cost the team 2.8 wins with a negative bWAR.

To add insult to injury, Seattle was so desperate to rid themselves of Silva’s contract, they traded him in December of 2009for the headache that would be known as the slimeball Milton Bradley. And to rub even more salt in the wound, Silva was actually usable for the Cubs, making 21 starts of 100 ERA+ ball, making him exactly average.

Silva would never pitch in the big leagues again while pitchers like Kyle Lohse would go on to pitch another 8 seasons after signing a free-agent contract in late March of that same off-season. There really is no debating that Silva was an absolute disaster for Seattle and one that was compounded by trading him for Bradley. Mariners’ fans everywhere should be happy to forget about this mistake.

3. Mariners select Jeff Clement over Troy Tulowitzki

The 2004 season was an abject disaster for the Seattle Mariners. The greatest run in franchise history was over and the team had to start a rebuild immediately. Of course, the old ownership group would never allow that, so it would be up to the GM’s like Bill Bavasi and Jack Zduriencik to be amongst the best GM’s in baseball. Long story short… they weren’t.

This started way back in the 2005 MLB Draft, a legendary class that would see 8 of the Top 20 and 6 of the Top 7 picks make at least one All-Star team. Names like Justin Upton, Alex Gordon, Troy Tulowitzki, Ryan Braun, Jacoby Ellsbury, Andrew McCutchen, Jay Bruce, and Cameron Maybin would go on to have long careers. And in the massive swell of talent, the Mariners came away with Jeff Clement.

Yeah, Jeff “Freaking” Clement. What makes matter worse is that every publication and their mothers believed that Seattle would take Troy Tulowitzki. Baseball America described him as the safest pick in the draft and was a sure bet to return their investment. And even on draft day, Tulowitzki himself was convinced he would be a Mariner:

“A couple of minutes before the draft,” (Tulowitzki) says, “they’d called me and said, ‘You’re our guy.’ “

So what happened? A titanic sized mistake occurred. Bill Bavasi, believing the team was set at shortstop with Adam Jones (yes, that Adam Jones) and Matt Tuiasosopo, decided the franchise would need a catcher and selected the left-handed-hitting Jeff Clement instead. This move, in a nutshell, perfectly encapsulates the failure of the post-2003 Mariners: short-term logic with no ability to develop or project.

Sure, there is no guarantee that Tulowitzki would have become the borderline Hall of Famer he did if he was in Seattle. But the process is one of the worst in baseball history and Clement did absolutely nothing to show he was a worthy 10th round pick, let alone the third pick in the draft.

The difference between this selection and the Dustin Ackley, Mike Zunino, and Danny Hultzen picks were that there were multiple correct answers sitting in front of Bavasi and he still whiffed harder than any of the picks mentioned above. Ackley and Zunino were major league contributors and Hultzen got hurt. Clement was just a flat out stupid pick.

2. Mariners trade Shin-Soo Choo to Cleveland for Ben Broussard

Would you look at that? Another Bill Bavasi decision? Honestly, I could have saved us all some time and just wrote two words and been done with this article. What is a decision the Mariners made that we wish was an April Fools Joke? Hiring Bill Bavasi. Done. End of article.

But we’ve come this far, so let’s finish it. In July of 2006, the Mariners shipped off a promising, young outfielder named Shin-Soo Choo to the Cleveland Indians for platoon first baseman Ben Broussard.

In 2006, the Seattle Mariners found themselves just 3 games back of a playoff spot despite being 3 games below-.500 entering the final week before the trade deadline. Instead of understanding the underlying numbers, Bavasi (or perhaps meddling Mariners ownership) decided it was enough for Seattle to buy at the deadline.

So Seattle shipped off one of it’s few talented youngsters to Cleveland for a part-time player. Choo almost immediately showed he was an everyday player with a great eye, strong arm, and emerging power. And over the course of his 15 season career, Choo has posted an impressive 34.5 bWAR and a .377 OBP.

Meanwhile, Broussard would play in 155 games for the Mariners and post a .311 OBP and be out of baseball entirely just one season later. Bavasi has already illustrated two massive no-nos for baseball GM’s in our last 2 slides. He drafted for need, not the best player available, and he traded a good prospect for a bench bat. Man, was Bavasi bad at this job or what? But unfortunately for him, our examination isn’t over yet.