Sorting Seattle Mariners Into Hogwarts Houses
Okay, I don’t have anything against Gryffindor’s. Except for the ones who think they’re the only house to ever exist. And when sorting players, the toughest grouping to distinguish between is Gryffindor and Hufflepuff.
Gryffindor’s value bravery, daring, nerve, and chivalry. It is worth noting that Gryffindor bravery is often seen more as showing off or looking to prove somebody wrong more than actual courage. But regardless, here is what we came up with.
Let’s start at the top. Nick Vincent has been a successful big league reliever with one pitch. He just keeps throwing it, and keeps getting guys out. Takes a lot of nerve.
Jean Segura lost his baby son and went into a deep depression for 2 years before finding his way through to the other side. Bravery.
Zunino is a catcher. You either have to be insane or extremely brave to be a big league catcher. Plus, is there a nicer guy than Mike Zunino.
If there is, it might be Nelson Cruz. Cruz is one of those guys who you could flip between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, but at the end of the day, he seems like a Gryffindor right?
Guillermo Heredia fled Cuba, came to America to pursue his dream. All the while, he’s trying to learn a new language and do it all while trying to stick in the big leagues. That is a heavy dose of bravery is it not?
Finally, we come to Dee Gordon. I literally couldn’t decide between Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. I even took to Twitter to get some opinions.
I don’t know who the heck thinks Dee is a Ravenclaw, but I was struggling to choose between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. I’d probably have gone Hufflepuff, but I’ll give it to the voters and say Gryffindor.
Well, there you have it. Instead of the home run derby, I decided to write something as meaningless as the derby itself. I might be wrong, but I feel pretty good about my calls. Disagree? Be sure to let me know.