Top 5 Mustaches In Mariners History

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As a result of a work incident earlier this week, I have been forced to shave my sad man’s foo man shu. Apparently it had been mistaken for a goatee by one of my supervisors and I was pulled aside and told I needed to shave. I’m not sure if that statement right there says more about my mustache growing ability than my employers grooming standards.

Hair that grows below the corners of your lip is apparently a no go. Bummer.

Just for fun, how about a look at my top 5 greatest mustaches in Seattle Mariners history.

I base my judgement on a few different categories. The era of the mustache, because we all know how popular the porn ‘stache was in the 80’s. How unique the mustache is, because some mustaches have their own personalities (See Rollie Fingers). And the overall thickness of the mustache, because thin mustaches are just weird.. maybe that’s why I had to shave. Hmmm…