Ranking the Mariners by Baseball Beards

2 of 5

Mandatory Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports


Unfortunately for the Mariners they’re somewhat lacking in the beard department this season. Robbinson Cano has that chin thing going on right now, and while it certainly doesn’t look bad, he’s got nothing on Dustin Ackley. The Lumber-Ack looks great (though if you ask my wife she thinks it’s horrible). It’s so shapely, so rugged. He doesn’t trim it every day, and he doesn’t care what you think.

Joe Beimel also has some pretty neat stuff growing out of his face, making the armful of tattoos even more intimidating. But, unfortunately for the Mariners, even Ackley can’t hold a flame to the rest of the league for beardedness.

Grade: C+ (that’s generous, but Ack is just so glorious)