Michael Saunders’ Doppelgänger


Feb 19, 2013; Peoria, AZ, USA; Seattle Mariners center fielder Michael Saunders (55) poses for a picture during the Mariners photo day at Peoria Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Now that the Mariners stand at 62-75, 17 games out of first place in the AL West, it has come time to find obscure, random things to write about to entertain the fans. Because let’s be honest, the Mariners are hard pressed right now trying to find a way to make the fans smile again. I mean, come on!, Felix has lost 4 straight decisions and left last nights game early with a back strain. And the Angels, ANGELS, have been so hot they are now 2.5 games ahead of the Mariners in the standings. Which means all those 4th place predictions would be on point if the season ended today.

But for the next 3 or so minutes, the scores and the stats and the record and the suffering don’t matter. After you finish reading this sentence, you will no longer be depressed but delightfully entertained by this fun nugget of insight I have stumbled across.

Michael Saunders looks exactly like Tilda Swinton. Yes, friends, the only Tilda Swinton you’re thinking of. What? You need more empirical evidence to convince you? Fair enough, I too would hesitate to immediately agree with the idea that a Major League outfielder resembles an Oscar Winning Actress (Best Actress in a Supporting role in George Clooney led Michael Clayton, in theaters 2007) with sharp features and a sterling reputation.

*Note: the following images may disturb you. Also, each photo you see of Tilda Swinton will progressively look more and more like Michael Saunders. That’s the goal of this post of course. Likewise, I will add the mean-mugging photo of the Condor above throughout, so as to not strain your fingers scrolling up and down this post.

Here she is in Moonrise Kingdom. Similar eyes and nose structure, but the hair and the kooky blue get-up just doesn’t quite cut it for an adequate comparison.

Tilda plays the role of Brad Pitt’s love in the mind-bending, backwards aging Curious Case of Benjamin Button. She looks more pensive and angrier here, and her more blonde hair gives her a better case for comparison to the dirty blonde, 5 o’clock shadowed Condor.

But remember, just because doppelgängers look the same, doesn’t necessarily mean that they have similar personality traits or qualities. Fortunately I have found someone who indeed has a similar, tempered disposition to Michael Saunders.

Here he is getting angry at an umpire:

Sep 18, 2012; Seattle, WA, USA; Seattle Mariners center fielder Michael Saunders (right) is escorted off the field by umpire Wally Bell (35) after Saunders was ejected for throwing his helmet during the 10th inning against the Baltimore Orioles at Safeco Field. Mandatory Credit: Steven Bisig-USA TODAY Sports

If you’ve ever watched the Mariners play a baseball game with Saunders in the lineup, you’ve seen him get pissed. If he strikes out swinging he slams his bat, chucks his helmet at the ground, and spews all sorts of non-PC words from his presumably kind-natured Canadian mouth. In The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, Tilda Swinton is no different. Watch her scream at Edmund for no good reason (to get to her really juicy stuff, watch from 6:02-6:22; it’s anger gold to compare to Saunders). She is just as fiery as Saunders! How much deeper could this connection possibly go I wonder. Also, an aside– could you imagine the Condor rocking this dreadful ‘do under his batting helmet? Yea, me neither.

In the end, the standard crop cut hair and piercing eyes of an everyday Tilda Swinton make the best comparison. Their noses remain eerily similar with the sharp downward point, and their eyes just pierce through your soul with a palpable intensity. Maybe we could set up a meeting between these two where they both are put in separate, but adjacent rooms, and are told to stare into a mirror which is really just a pane of glass between the two rooms. Do you think they would recognize they were looking at someone else? I doubt it, because damn do they look similar.

For full disclosure, I’ve thought these two look the same for at least a year now. But their facial, and hot-headed, similarities are not intended to comment on the Condor’s masculinity. I know he’s a dude, and when he is playing well he has the potential to be a 5-tool player. I hope he puts it all together for the end of this season and can carry it over to the next.

Both Tilda and Michael approach their work with passion, a fiery intensity, and a love for work which for them would be better deemed ‘fun’. Wouldn’t it be nice if the same could say the same for the rest of us?