If They Were Beer: The Infielders


Today we continue our look at the M’s roster as if they were beer. This time we examine the Infielders.

Remember: I’m also not going to explain my metaphors. You can all figure them out. Just know that while I’m talking in beer terms, I am still mostly talking about the players. Also, don’t be surprised if my metaphors change from player to player, or beer to beer.

Other Entries in the Series:


Catchers and Designated Hitters: Wednesday

Relief Pitchers: Thursday

Starting Pitchers: Friday


Dustin Ackley – The Abyss, Deschutes Brewing, Bend, OR

Very complex flavor. Many different flavors mixed in there and balanced perfectly. Even the alcohol percent is high but it doesn’t interfere with the flavor. Drinking this beer will make you feel like you’re spoiling yourself.

Kyle Seager – Pullman Porter (no link available), Coeur d’Alene Brewing Company, Coeur d’Alene, ID

Miss-cast as a porter, is much more of ale despite it’s dark color. Dark maltiness upfront is contrasted with an odd fruitiness that follows. Feel is a bit to thin, too thin in my opinion.

Adam Kennedy – Panther Lake Porter, Silver City Brewing – Silverdale, WA

This was once a decent beer that I enjoyed drinking. Change in brewmaster has caused it go downhill in a hurry. Not a reliable flavor, but one I still try occasionally hoping it will recap the magic it once had.

Chone FigginsSapporo Premium, Sapporo Brewing – Sappora City, Japan

Generally disliked by American beer drinkers, this beer is supposed to be from a German tradition but fails in it’s attempt, coming off as cheap knock-off. It is clearly not as good as it once was, now that’s it’s bottled in Canada instead of Japan. It isn’t horrible, but it’s priced like a premium craft brew and it isn’t worth the cost.

Justin Smoak – Devil Dog, Laughing Dog Brewing – Sand Point, ID

This isn’t just an IPA, it’s an Imperial IPA. So take everything you know about IPAs and make them stronger. More color, more flavor, more hops, and yes, more alcohol. Very good flavor, and one of the few IPAs that I like. It’s a bit inconsistent from batch to batch though, so occasionally it’s not as good as it should be.

Brendan Ryan – Guinness Stout, Guinness Inc. – Dublin, Ireland

Despite it’s dark color, guinness isn’t the least bit bitter. Very smooth and refreshing, it is surprisingly low in both calories and alcohol percent. Although it has a huge international following, most locals have it confused with something thick and really strong, so it isn’t as appreciated at perhaps it should be. Definitely a working class brew for the blue collar worker in all of us.

More to come tomorrow