Mariners Commercials 2010 Critique

Make sure you check out our new writer Brett’s first post below this one. It’s about Adam Moore.

What’s in a Name: The joke here, I presume, is that it seems like Felix is listing off famous people to point out that his name and Cliff Lee’s name could become similarly household, immortalized names.  For some reason Chone Figgins comes in at the end and lists some more names.  Sometimes these commercials don’t need a tag.  However, there are some cool scenic shots of Safeco (or wherever that is).  Rating: 8.6/10

Griffin’s edit: Actually, the joke was that they were naming famous people with two first names.

Taylor’s edit: Note to self, make jokes less dry.

Running Catch: I like this one a lot.  As Jeff pointed out at LL, it’s not very plausible that Wak and Zduriencik wouldn’t care that Guti messed up their game, but even then, the concept is pretty darn funny.  And this time, the tag was awesome.  In all seriousness, this could add a whole new dimension to golf.  Rating: 9.5/10

Meaningful Moments: Ichiro doesn’t even need to do anything out of the ordinary to be funny.  So when he does, he’s hilarious.)  When he screams, “JUNIORRRRR,” I was reminded of a Japanese giant-monster-battle movie.  A 30-foot-tall Ichiro would be pretty fearsome.  Also, I get the feeling this sort of thing actually happens in the Mariners clubhouse.  Probably less cliche’d, but lots of Griffey love-inducing pranks.  Sometimes I wish I played for this team.  Overall, this one is good, but not at the level of some of the others from this year’s batch of commercials.  Rating: 7.5/10

Immortalized: This one had an awesome concept, but it was kind of poorly delivered (in my humble opinion).  However, I always have to remind myself that “they’re baseball players, not trained actors.”  On the other hand, I like to think that the dull tone of these commercials is really just incredibly dry humor possessed by every man on the roster.  Additionally, John Wetteland is so damn funny.  This is the man who said he found irony “cathartic.”  Rating: 8.2/10

The Next Big Thing: Score one for Paul Marsh (Positive Paul) and the blogosphere for the nickname Hyphen.  But I kind of feel sorry for RRS in this one.  He seems really downtrodden by the T-Shirt proposal.  Also, the Bartolo Colon joke was a perfect throw-in.  Rating: 8.0/10

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  • 200tang

    I thought the Gutierrez/bullpen commercials were the best. I was a bit bummed with the ‘The Next Big Thing’. I don’t know, as cool as RR-S is, his commercials the past 2 years have been pretty bad imo.

  • Brett Miller

    Really Taylor? You misunderstood “What’s in a Name?”

  • Paul Marsh

    Between my Buhner shot and the Hyphen nickname, I’ll forever go down in Mariners sub-culture lore.


    The Hyphen commercial has to be taken in context. That the normally fun-loving, easy-going surfer dude from Down Under is portrayed as less-than-whelmed in this commercial — especially in light of the fact that he’s completely and totally embraced the “Hyphen” name — does seem out of place. Except that there’s the ongoing theme with the marketing department not getting him.

    I think next year’s RR-S commercial needs to feature a cameo from Jenni Hogan

  • wtfwth

    You scored Ryan-Rowland SMith’s commercial higher than jr/ichiro? Are you fucking stupid?

    Of course you are, you didn’t understand the Cliff Lee/Felix commercial when they EXPLAINED it the goddamn commercial. Dumbass.

  • Griffin Cooper

    We appreciate your input!